Boob Sweat
In this Episode Chris is on the mend from his bought with Covid. How to combat Boob Sweat. Ear Wax cleaning techniques. Nick's Epic Sports update. Sarah gets a new car, and so much more.
Please nominate us "Parent's Night Out with No New Friends" at www.vote.orlandoweekly.com under the category Local Noteables/Best Local Podcast.
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Transcript
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Speaker A:My name is Scott.
Speaker A:I am the host and with me as always, the scumbag reselling hoarder himself.
Speaker B:Chris, welcome to Remy's birthday episode.
Speaker A:The petty princess.
Speaker A:Sarah.
Speaker C:Happy birthday, Remy.
Speaker A:Our emotional support, Gay Nick.
Speaker D:It's a.
Speaker D:It's a me and your birthday.
Speaker A:And Redbeard, the producer.
Speaker A:Oh my God.
Speaker A:It's my birthday too.
Speaker A:So what's going on, guys?
Speaker A:We took a week off and we took.
Speaker D:Oh yeah, we did.
Speaker A:Yeah, we took a week off because Chris had a.
Speaker A:Well, so it's.
Speaker A:It's Lent.
Speaker A:I'm sorry, Sarah.
Speaker A:Lent is what Catholics do.
Speaker A:40 days, 40 nights before Easter.
Speaker A:They make a sacrifice and give something up.
Speaker A:So apparently.
Speaker D:Is that the stuff in your belly button?
Speaker A:No, that's lint.
Speaker A:Lint, apparently.
Speaker B:This is annoying.
Speaker A:Chris gave up McDonald's for Lent.
Speaker B:Yeah, my Kryptonite is not having McDonald's I've realized because for the very first time, I tested positive for the Chinese virus.
Speaker A:The China virus.
Speaker A:The China virus.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It was horrible.
Speaker B:So I woke up, I was super sweaty, sweatier than normal.
Speaker B:Because I usually wake up sweaty.
Speaker B:It's just a sweaty guy woke up sweatier than.
Speaker D:You're welcome.
Speaker A:Chris, do you have.
Speaker A:Are you fat enough for boob sweat?
Speaker B:No, I just.
Speaker B:I sweat everywhere else.
Speaker A:I am.
Speaker A:I can't wear gray shirts or blue shirts anymore because I literally have, like, two smiley faces.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, right.
Speaker D:I don't think it's a fat thing.
Speaker D:It's just.
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:I just.
Speaker D:I have a little bit of boobies.
Speaker B:But I think once you get that age.
Speaker A:Is that what it is?
Speaker B:I think.
Speaker B:I think the glands just.
Speaker B:Just move to that location.
Speaker A:Like, I'm gonna have to start wearing a bra, like, to avoid the boob sweat.
Speaker B:I think it's 20, 25.
Speaker B:You could be lactating.
Speaker A:I could be.
Speaker A:Or like.
Speaker A:Like, Sarah puts deodorant under her breast.
Speaker A:I mean, she's got.
Speaker A:She's got big boobs.
Speaker A:She's got, like.
Speaker A:She puts deodorant under her breast to.
Speaker A:To make it not sweat.
Speaker A:Sarah, Is that.
Speaker A:Is that, like.
Speaker D:What.
Speaker C:Is that makeup over here?
Speaker C:No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker C:I think that's a.
Speaker C:That might be a thing for girls that actually need it, but.
Speaker C:No, some of us just wear black for a second.
Speaker B:I thought you said Sarah.
Speaker B:I'm like, why are you talking about this?
Speaker B:I thought you said Sarah does he.
Speaker B:You said Rachel.
Speaker A:Rachel does it.
Speaker A:Did I say Sarah?
Speaker D:You said Sarah.
Speaker A:I heard.
Speaker C:Yeah, you said.
Speaker B:That's what I thought.
Speaker B:Yeah, you said Sarah does it.
Speaker A:Sarah doesn't do that.
Speaker A:Rachel does that.
Speaker A:How would I do what Sarah does with her boobs?
Speaker A:Alex, cut that.
Speaker B:Told you that in confidence.
Speaker B:Why would you bring that up?
Speaker D:Like, breaking news.
Speaker D:Sarah's boobs sweat, and she's a student.
Speaker B:Like, I do.
Speaker B:Sorry.
Speaker A:I don't sweat.
Speaker C:I glisten.
Speaker A:Okay, you do glisten.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:I've hung out with you in the heat of summer, and you.
Speaker A:You glisten and you glow.
Speaker A:There's, like, not a drip of sweat.
Speaker A:Meanwhile, I'm, like, melting like Olaf in the summer.
Speaker B:Yeah, I wish.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:Listen, I'm a squirter.
Speaker D:Your melting Scott, though, is all the beer just escaping.
Speaker D:Trying to escape her body.
Speaker D:But it's like, I think we'll stick around a while, right?
Speaker B:Scott just rings out a shirt and re.
Speaker B:Drinks.
Speaker B:It doesn't miss a drop.
Speaker A:All right, so moral of the story I need to start using deodorant under my boob to stop the boob sweat.
Speaker A:And Rachel, not Sarah, uses deodorant to.
Speaker B:Stop the boob sweat.
Speaker B:That's pretty good.
Speaker B:You said it so confidently.
Speaker A:Oh, okay, I did, I did.
Speaker A:Oops.
Speaker B:So anyway, I.
Speaker A:Here's.
Speaker A:Okay, sorry.
Speaker A:Here's the thing.
Speaker A:Total transparency.
Speaker A:Abby's mom's name is Sarah, and she used to do the same thing.
Speaker A:So I think I screwed up and referred to my wife by my ex's name, which is.
Speaker B:Though it's a really.
Speaker B:You dug yourself into quite the hole.
Speaker C:The original story, honestly.
Speaker A:So anyway, my wife Rachel, not my friend Sarah or my ex Sarah, she uses the deodorant under the boob.
Speaker B:So back to.
Speaker B:I squirted out of my sweat glands at like three in the morning.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:You can't suffer alone.
Speaker B:So I.
Speaker B:I purposely started, like, making noise, like grunting and.
Speaker B:And like, like, I just like.
Speaker B:Like a sick grunt and like tossing and turning.
Speaker B:And then I look over, I was like, oh, you're up.
Speaker B:I think I have a fever.
Speaker B:And so she.
Speaker B:She hopped out of bed.
Speaker B:It was so cold.
Speaker B:I chopped out of bed.
Speaker B:Got me the thermometer and 100 and.
Speaker B:107.
Speaker A:That's 107.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:You're like that dead friend from kindergarten, Murray, with the swine flu.
Speaker B:Rest in peace.
Speaker B:And so I was like, man, this is pretty serious.
Speaker B:So I took a.
Speaker B:Took an ice plunge real quick.
Speaker B:I did that.
Speaker B:That viral.
Speaker B:You put the bowl with the ice water, dunk by dunk, by the ice bucket challenge.
Speaker A:The prime.
Speaker A:You pour the prime.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:Wait, my slaves.
Speaker B:The banana peel.
Speaker B:I was fine.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:So I.
Speaker B:I went downstairs and I was like, I think I have the flu.
Speaker B:And I took the.
Speaker B:Now they said those over the counter flu test.
Speaker B:It's three in one flu, A, flu B, and Covid.
Speaker B:So I took that and didn't have the flu A.
Speaker B:The Chinese flu.
Speaker B:I can't.
Speaker B: I can't believe that in: Speaker B:And it was.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker A:But isn't it a relief when you see that positive test because you're like, okay, I actually have something that I can like, show my wife.
Speaker A:Hey, look, I am actually sick and not just.
Speaker A:I'm being a gigantic.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Two things.
Speaker B:Three things.
Speaker B:One, happy that I had Covid.
Speaker B:Because covert doesn't affect kids.
Speaker B:I was like, okay, don't have to worry about what.
Speaker B:No, it doesn't affect kids.
Speaker B:Like, it affects adults.
Speaker A:Okay, look it up.
Speaker B:She had the sniffles.
Speaker A:Oh, so she got.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:Well, listen, we all got it, but that's.
Speaker B:You're spoiling the ending.
Speaker A:You spoil the ending.
Speaker B:No, you.
Speaker B:You just.
Speaker B:You spoiled it.
Speaker B:Scott.
Speaker B:You should have said, spoiler alert.
Speaker B:She got it.
Speaker A:She got it.
Speaker B:You're the one that.
Speaker B:Oh, listen, you're the one that makes me have to defend myself against what you think are conspiracy theories.
Speaker B:Kids don't get coveted like they chat.
Speaker B:GBT told me they don't get.
Speaker A:All right, so anyway, did your girls get Covid?
Speaker C:Actually, they did, but they didn't have any symptoms.
Speaker B:Kids.
Speaker A:Nick, Piper.
Speaker D:Piper never got it.
Speaker D:And she got tested a lot, but she never got it.
Speaker B:So, like I was saying, Abby got.
Speaker A:It, and she got it bad.
Speaker B:No, like, little kids.
Speaker B:Dude, I'm not talking about.
Speaker B:She's a teenager.
Speaker A:Well, this was.
Speaker A:This was three years ago.
Speaker B:Potato, potato.
Speaker B:Anyway, so you can't even test it to two.
Speaker B:Two and younger.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:You can't even test the.
Speaker B:The nostril's not even big enough.
Speaker B:I tried.
Speaker B:So, no, I was like, how am I gonna test her?
Speaker B:Like, I can't even, like, wipe her.
Speaker A:Nose and then swab that.
Speaker B:Oh, and then spit it onto this essay next time.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So I came.
Speaker B:Yeah, came up Covid.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:That was the first time I ever tested positive for Covid.
Speaker B:Now, I do want to admit it's the first time I ever tested positive for Covet, because it is one of the first times I've ever tested.
Speaker A:If you don't.
Speaker A:If you stop testing, the results won't go up.
Speaker B:So Emily would test positive.
Speaker B:And why would he waste two kits?
Speaker B:You're sick.
Speaker B:I'm sick.
Speaker B:Why would I test?
Speaker B:My mom was like, why don't you test?
Speaker B:I'm not leaving the house.
Speaker B:Like, what about.
Speaker B:What am I gonna.
Speaker B:Who am I gonna test for?
Speaker B:So I quarantined myself into the.
Speaker B:Into the spare bedroom.
Speaker B:I quarantined myself on the couch, away from everybody, all for nothing.
Speaker B:Literally nothing.
Speaker B:Because Emily gets it, Ellie gets it, and then he was all for nothing.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I sacrificed.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:As soon as you.
Speaker A:You broke a fever, you're like, I think I have a fee.
Speaker A:Like, coughing all over your wife.
Speaker A:And then you make her get you.
Speaker A:Like, if you have a fever, leave the room.
Speaker A:Quarantine immediately.
Speaker B:I didn't know I had a fever.
Speaker B:I was just really cold.
Speaker B:Oh, and it's sore and really bad.
Speaker B:Sore throat and body aches.
Speaker B:I had no idea that I was sick.
Speaker B:I thought it was just like middle of the night.
Speaker B:Like, was too cold in the room.
Speaker B:Throat hurts.
Speaker B:So super cold.
Speaker B:Freezing.
Speaker B:Body aches because I get a lot of cardio or something.
Speaker B:I no idea that it was exactly what it was.
Speaker A:You know, the first time I had Covid, like, my back hurts, my hip, my hips and legs hurt.
Speaker A:I was like, man, that must have been a hell of a workout you yesterday that I realized I don't work out.
Speaker B:It's the fever.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's the fever making you think live a whole other lifestyle.
Speaker B:So, yeah, everyone's, Everyone got sick.
Speaker B:Then my mom gets sick.
Speaker B:Who comes over and helps me with Ellie.
Speaker B:So when she was sick.
Speaker B:So like the whole week after I had to take Ellie, it was take your daughter to work week.
Speaker B:And she was helping me.
Speaker B:She was helping me.
Speaker B:It was, of course, it was a week where we had to fix a lot of stuff.
Speaker B:So she's helped me.
Speaker B:Like, like I drop a lug nut and then it's in her mouth.
Speaker B:She's, she's chewing on the, chewing on the lug.
Speaker B:N.
Speaker B:No, actually, no.
Speaker B:Didn't bring another garage.
Speaker B:I put her on a pack and play in the transportation room.
Speaker B:Transportation office.
Speaker B:And I called Astro over and just put on Ms.
Speaker B:Rachel in front of Astro, and she was glued to Astro.
Speaker B:Her and Astro are now best friends.
Speaker A:So now Astro is a free babysitter.
Speaker B:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And then I can, and I'm in the garage and I could just, I can just drop in and use this little camera to watch or make sure she's all right.
Speaker B:She loved him, so.
Speaker B:And the worst part about it was she's going through the separation anxiety phase.
Speaker B:So it's like the only person it either needs to be me in the room with her or Ms.
Speaker B:Rachel in the room with her.
Speaker B:And as long as one of us are in the room with her, she's like, you know who Ms.
Speaker B:Rachel is, right, Scott?
Speaker A:Yeah, my wife.
Speaker B:Rachel's the.
Speaker A:Ms.
Speaker A:Rachel.
Speaker B:Ms.
Speaker B:Rachel's this.
Speaker D:Now you remember this?
Speaker B:Rachel's this YouTuber.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:So she's not big in the conservative homes.
Speaker B:I don't, I, I, Yeah, because she's.
Speaker A:An ally and they're homophobic.
Speaker B:I, I, this is, this is the first I'm hearing.
Speaker B:I thought she was homophobic.
Speaker A:No, no, she's not kidding.
Speaker B:That was a joke.
Speaker B:That was a joke.
Speaker B:There's a transsexual person on the, yeah, on the, on the show.
Speaker A:Yeah, Conservatives don't like her.
Speaker B:Jules.
Speaker B:Jules.
Speaker B:Mr.
Speaker B:Aaron and Ms.
Speaker B:Rachel.
Speaker B:And then this is Not a lady.
Speaker B:I don't know her name, but she's there anyway.
Speaker B:So Ms.
Speaker B:Rachel took care of that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So now we're all better.
Speaker B:I kid you not.
Speaker B:And I wish this was satire.
Speaker B:In the last six days, I've had McDonald's twice.
Speaker B:I went mostly because they have these new collectibles, but I'm like, I need to get my meds back up.
Speaker B:I need to get my meds back up.
Speaker B:The one thing that did linger though, and I'm not saying I have long Covid because I heard that's the thing, but the congestion in my ears has stay stuck around.
Speaker B:So I remember going on Tick Tock shop or Tick Tock and they're directing me to Tick Tock.
Speaker A:Buying a neck fan.
Speaker B:Seeing these, Seeing these.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But if you do, please visit at the parks.
Speaker B:No to friends.
Speaker B:To get the best deal on Tick Tock.
Speaker B:And I remember seeing this like, this like camera earwax digger thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Oh yeah, yeah, I've seen them.
Speaker B:Yeah, You've seen those?
Speaker A:Yeah, they usually show up like Dr.
Speaker A:Pimple Popper is in my algorithm.
Speaker A:And then the.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's like the gross.
Speaker D:Yeah, it's like super late at night.
Speaker D:It's only super late at night when they pop up for me.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's like once you get to the GR and then you're watching it for like 15 minutes and it's like, why am I watching for 15 minutes?
Speaker A:I wish it was only 15 minutes.
Speaker A:Dude, Chris, I stumbled upon one of those videos at like midnight and the next thing I knew it's 4:30 in the morning.
Speaker A:Because I'm just watching pimple popping videos.
Speaker B:I don't know what it is about them, but they're deliciously.
Speaker B:Don't say, oh, okay, wait, why do I say deliciously?
Speaker A:Have you ever seen when they.
Speaker A:When they like ruptured a cow?
Speaker A:Cyst.
Speaker B:Ones too?
Speaker B:The hoof?
Speaker B:If there's affected hoofs.
Speaker B:Yeah, they drill it out.
Speaker B:There's like green and stuff.
Speaker B:Anyway, speaking of ordering this thing, I ordered medicine from Doordash because I ordered the earwax thing.
Speaker B:I ordered stuff from Doordash Medicine so I could feel better.
Speaker B:So the guy gets to the door and I had to.
Speaker B:They had to scan my ID because I got Sudafed.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:Yeah, you have to show your id.
Speaker B:Yeah, he had to scan my ID and I'm like, yeah, I.
Speaker B:I opened the doors like, yeah, this is the first I've read to do this.
Speaker B:He goes.
Speaker B:He goes, yeah.
Speaker B:Ever since Breaking Bad came out, everyone's trying to make meth now.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Thank you, sir.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:It spread.
Speaker A:I mean, that was a big Florida thing for a while.
Speaker A:I guess it spread up to Jersey.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:They made it mainstream.
Speaker B:So I ordered the earwax camera tool thing, first of all.
Speaker B:Five stars.
Speaker D:I have on five stars.
Speaker B:It's great.
Speaker B:Oh, it's.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's great.
Speaker B:You know what's not great, Nick?
Speaker D:What?
Speaker B:Looks nothing like the videos on Tik Tok and Instagram.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:My ears.
Speaker B:I never wanted my ears to be dirtier than when I.
Speaker B:I wanted them to look so disgusting.
Speaker B:And these people are pulling out freaking Milk duds out of their ears.
Speaker B:And I pull out like.
Speaker B:Like a grain of rice, and it's, like, wet.
Speaker B:Like, it's like healthy wax.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I pulled out, like, healthy wax.
Speaker B:And it looks huge.
Speaker D:It looks giant on the camera.
Speaker D:And you pull it out and there's like, where's it at?
Speaker B:Yeah, it's like Nick has that same issue on.
Speaker B:On Grinder.
Speaker B:Why.
Speaker B:Why is it so small when it gets here?
Speaker A:I would probably be the perfect person to have video of this stuff.
Speaker A:Because I don't.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I'm scared of Q tips.
Speaker A:And so my mom cleaned out my ears until I was, like, in my mid-20s.
Speaker A:And then my ex wife, she took the role of ear cleaner out.
Speaker B:Sarah.
Speaker A:No, my.
Speaker A:My ex wife, Darren and Michaela's mom.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:But then Abby's mom, Sarah, she cleaned out my ears.
Speaker B:The deodorant boob girl.
Speaker A:But now, like, I'm afraid to ask Rachel.
Speaker A:Like, I haven't, like, so I haven't cleaned.
Speaker A:Rachel and I've been together almost 10 years now.
Speaker A:I haven't cleaned out my ears in 10 years.
Speaker A:Well, that's actually not true because.
Speaker A:Sarah, are you a Q tip person?
Speaker C:I am.
Speaker C:That's, like, religiously probably an unhealthy amount.
Speaker A:Oh, okay.
Speaker A:I'm more of a pen cap or.
Speaker A:Or like, what?
Speaker A:Car key person.
Speaker C:That's what I use.
Speaker C:You're an old man.
Speaker D:What?
Speaker D:No.
Speaker C:I feel like the only time I've ever seen somebody do that is an old person.
Speaker A:Oh, really?
Speaker D:My grandma used to use a toothpick.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker D:I'm like, I don't know how that's.
Speaker C:Safe, but it's not.
Speaker D:I mean, apparently Q tips aren't safe in your ears either.
Speaker A:Well, yeah.
Speaker A:Q tips just.
Speaker A:They push the wax deeper into your brain.
Speaker A:So that's why.
Speaker A:Because I can scoop it just like the.
Speaker A:I just don't have a camera on my pen cap.
Speaker B:I don't I don't believe that.
Speaker B:Well, you're telling me Q tips aren't safe.
Speaker B:It's like big pen cap.
Speaker B:There's no way.
Speaker B:Say that a.
Speaker B:A cotton on a stick is bad.
Speaker A:For your ear because it pushes the wax deeper.
Speaker B:I don't believe that.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker B:Listen.
Speaker B:I stuck a camera in my ear there.
Speaker B:I'm not pushing anything anywhere.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker B:It's maybe the milk dudier people.
Speaker B:That might.
Speaker B:Might be bad for Q tips, but mine are fine.
Speaker A:That's what the.
Speaker A:The commercials say when you wait, like, for the.
Speaker B:For the stuff that they want you to find something else.
Speaker A:The drill thing came out where it's like a little drill, and it's like, this is the most effective way to clean out your ears because it, like, drills it out.
Speaker A:It's like rubber, and it, like, spins it out instead.
Speaker B:It sounds very unsafe.
Speaker A:It's rubber.
Speaker D:It's fine until your entire eardrum comes out, which I feel like my husband.
Speaker D:My husband uses a Q tip, and he's very aggressive with this Q tip.
Speaker D:And I.
Speaker D:I don't know how to describe it to people at home with it, but it's.
Speaker D:It's so alarming, and it might.
Speaker D:It might be the reason why he chooses not to listen to me half the time.
Speaker D:Or he just can't hear.
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker A:You just can't hear.
Speaker D:Yeah, we'll use that as an excuse.
Speaker A:I use my finger a lot too.
Speaker A:Like, I'll grow out.
Speaker A:I'll grow like, my pinky.
Speaker A:I look like one of those, like, cocaine people.
Speaker A:Yeah, with the long nail.
Speaker A:I use that to clean out my ears.
Speaker C:Nobody would assume that's what you're doing with it, by the way.
Speaker A:Well, it's fine, Sarah.
Speaker A:Editing the podcast with the beard so red.
Speaker A:He's the silent hero.
Speaker A:Never leaves his bed.
Speaker A:Producer in the shadows where the magic's fed.
Speaker A:When Redbeard walks in, you know you're.
Speaker B:Seeing Red.
Speaker A:Redbeard, the producer.
Speaker A:He's the sound machine.
Speaker B:Silent, stealthy, editing unseen.
Speaker A:With a sleight of thunder and a beat of might.
Speaker B:Walk on with red spirit under spotlight.
Speaker A:Editor Redbeard here.
Speaker A:Just letting you know I love cleaning my ear out with Q tips.
Speaker A:I don't understand what Scott's talking about.
Speaker A:He's afraid of Q tips.
Speaker A:I don't understand that.
Speaker A:I clean my ears out like.
Speaker A:Like Sarah religiously.
Speaker A:It's almost like euphoric when I do.
Speaker A:It feels so good.
Speaker B:Is that the end of your story, Chris?
Speaker B:Oh, well, that's it.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I mean that.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker B:I'm better now.
Speaker A:Well, that's good.
Speaker B:My mom.
Speaker B:Oh, my mom got covet and the flu, so she's.
Speaker B:Yeah, so she's on the bench.
Speaker B:My six man is.
Speaker B:Is not been around.
Speaker A:So you've had to.
Speaker A:You've had to watch your kid a lot.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's been a.
Speaker B:It's been.
Speaker B:I think I texted you.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think I text you saying tomorrow.
Speaker B:Well, this was, you know, a week or so ago.
Speaker B:Will be the first day for like, I'm gonna.
Speaker B:I'm by myself.
Speaker B:I think I used the term babysitting my dog.
Speaker B:Yeah, the babysit.
Speaker B:My daughter.
Speaker B:And you know what?
Speaker B:We've had a great time.
Speaker B:She is.
Speaker B:She's getting so big and she's so much fun.
Speaker B:The only bad thing is, is I taught her how to be independent, like, very well meaning.
Speaker B:I'm just on my phone all the time when I'm with her.
Speaker A:And that is true.
Speaker A:I talked to Chris more when Ellie's awake because he's like, yeah, I can't do anything, so I'm just holding her.
Speaker B:Yeah, I play Madden with her and then I just like, have to like, block so she can't get down.
Speaker B:Like fall down the steps into the basement.
Speaker B:And so we.
Speaker B:We've.
Speaker B:We've grown a too close of a bond, I should say.
Speaker B:Because now the separation anxiety now involves me as well.
Speaker B:It used to be just Emily.
Speaker B:Now it's like when I leave the room, she.
Speaker B:So I can't even like go, like go to the bathroom for two seconds without her, like thinking that I'm never gonna return.
Speaker B:When in the past, she's like, who is this guy anyway?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So that, that.
Speaker B:No, we are.
Speaker B:We are very tight now.
Speaker B:She does this really cool thing where if you try to give her a fist bumper, a high five, she just headbutts it.
Speaker B:And I hope she never grows out of that because it's the funniest thing in the world.
Speaker B:But on my.
Speaker B:My latest dose of Big Mac the other day, we were.
Speaker B:We.
Speaker B:We took her to McDonald's.
Speaker B:Emily and I were out shopping and let's grab McDonald's.
Speaker B:So we took Ellie there, which is so much fun, doing like stupid little things with a little kid because it just makes everything so much more fun.
Speaker B:She.
Speaker B:So we get her a high chair.
Speaker A:You obviously have not been to the grocery store yet.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Yeah, she's great.
Speaker B:Yeah, she's great.
Speaker B:She loves the grocery store.
Speaker B:She's a ham.
Speaker A:All of my kids are heathens in the grocery store.
Speaker B:No, she's the ever.
Speaker B:She's like, I.
Speaker B:I feel like I'm a celebrity.
Speaker B:Everyone's like, looking at me.
Speaker B:When you're a guy going somewhere alone, everyone always gives you weird looks.
Speaker B:Sometimes I think you're following them if you're going down the same aisle with them, you know, now it's like everyone's following me.
Speaker A:You're going by yourself with a baby.
Speaker A:They are throwing panties.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:It's like.
Speaker B:It's like, did you just abduct this.
Speaker B:This child, or are you just actually a good father?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:A little bit of both.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So we're at McDonald's and like I said, this whole headbutt thing, she loves doing this.
Speaker B:So we put a piece of food in front of her and she goes to give it a headbutt high five and just knocked herself on the table and then went and did it again.
Speaker B:And she looked up and she's like, tears are she.
Speaker B:She had a red mark, guys.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:The next couple hours.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So cute.
Speaker B:But it is dangerous.
Speaker A:I've met Chris's parents before.
Speaker A:They said he used to do the same thing.
Speaker A:So it explains a lot about what the evolution of this is going to be.
Speaker B:I have long concussion, but yeah.
Speaker B:So it's really funny when it's against my fist, which actually sounds.
Speaker B:It's really funny when she does it softly towards my hand.
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker B:Not as funny.
Speaker B:It's pretty funny when she does at the table.
Speaker B:But it's sad.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's sad.
Speaker B:It was pretty funny seeing the red mark on her head for the rest of the day.
Speaker B:Like you did that to yourself.
Speaker A:But anyway, learning opportunity.
Speaker B:Definitely learning opportunity.
Speaker B:I'll have to send you guys a video.
Speaker B:Her cousin came over who's just her in six months, and he came over and she just walked.
Speaker B:She.
Speaker B:She crawled over to him and.
Speaker B:And went to him and just.
Speaker B:It looks like she's bowing to him because she keeps doing that thing to his head.
Speaker B:Looks like she's bowing.
Speaker A:So when you had Covid and like before you inconsiderately gave it to your wife and kid, what did you do with your time?
Speaker B:And my mom?
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:Oh, and your mom?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And my mom.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:What did you do with your time?
Speaker A:Video games.
Speaker B:I'm in year seven of a rebuild of the Philadelphia Eagles.
Speaker B:There's a scenario in which Jalen Hurts was caught in a putting like gang posts online.
Speaker B:They tied him to the Bloods, so we had to cut him.
Speaker B:Oh, and we drafted a.
Speaker B:We drafted a young up and coming quarterback and now we're in the middle of rebuilding with them.
Speaker B:Saquon Barkley was traded and we drafted.
Speaker B:We drafted the guy from Boise State.
Speaker B:Even with.
Speaker B:When we had Saquon Genty, Ashton Genti, we drafted him.
Speaker B:We traded AJ Brown because he was too much of a problem in the locker room, which is actually realistic.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And yes.
Speaker B:So we're in the middle of a.
Speaker B:Of a seven year.
Speaker B:I'm in the seventh year of that rebuild, so.
Speaker B:Okay, that took about 40 hours.
Speaker B:I'm just kidding.
Speaker B:It took way longer than that.
Speaker B:So I did a.
Speaker B:I did a lot of.
Speaker B:I did a lot of that.
Speaker B:And the other.
Speaker B:The other half was.
Speaker B:Was.
Speaker B:Was sleeping and just infecting everybody.
Speaker A:Right, right.
Speaker B:It was the majority of the rest of my time.
Speaker A:Well, good for you.
Speaker A:Good for you.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Nick, you had an exciting week.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker D:I did.
Speaker D:But first, actually, you're talking sports stuff, and I have a sports update, guys.
Speaker D:Oh, yes.
Speaker D:Move.
Speaker D:I'm gay.
Speaker A:Here he comes, all fierce, all fab, strutting in the shimmering sass.
Speaker A:Emotional support.
Speaker B:Gay in the ring, come to win.
Speaker A:With flare and bling.
Speaker B:Down every door.
Speaker D:I haven't been on in two weeks, but we started kickball last week.
Speaker C:Oh, nice.
Speaker D:And here's how amazing it was.
Speaker D:It rained last week, so we got canceled.
Speaker D:We ended up just going to a bar and having some pizza.
Speaker D:And that sounds like a really good day.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker D:So it was.
Speaker D:It was an amazing time.
Speaker D:So it's been two weeks, which means we had another game this past Sunday, but we had another monsoon and it flooded to the point that they're putting floodgates up in Columbus, so.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker D:I don't know what's happening, but it's.
Speaker D:It's been canceled.
Speaker D:Mother Mother Nature is trying to protect my dignity, I think so.
Speaker A:Either that or Mother Nature's homophobic.
Speaker D:It might be.
Speaker D:It might be.
Speaker D:Well, probably not, because she always leaves us rainbow at the end.
Speaker A:That's true.
Speaker B:It is true.
Speaker D:Maybe she's just trying to protect my Achilles tendon.
Speaker B:Like, Chris told you to stretch.
Speaker D:I have not been stretching.
Speaker D:But also, can we talk about March Madness?
Speaker D:It's over, guys.
Speaker D:And I'm very.
Speaker A:Not yet.
Speaker D:Oh, well, it's April.
Speaker D:It's April.
Speaker D:Boy, let's talk about that again.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker D:Make that make sense, please.
Speaker B:That is a good point, actually.
Speaker A:March Madness is most of the tournament, and then the Final Four is usually the, like, the first week of April.
Speaker A:So Final Four was on Saturday, and the championship game is tonight between the Florida Gators and the Houston Something Cougars.
Speaker D:Okay, nobody cares so back to my.
Speaker C:What you're.
Speaker C:What you're saying is by the time this airs, it's over.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah, you're right.
Speaker A:This is why.
Speaker C:I'm sorry, Nick.
Speaker A:This is why you should be the host.
Speaker D:Well, I had a really good joke, so I'll make it make sense.
Speaker D:Alex can cut that out or whatever, but it doesn't make sense that it's still going on.
Speaker D:So March Madness is over, which means I can finally stop pretending to care about sweaty men, straight balls.
Speaker D:Unless it's pride weekend.
Speaker D:And then lastly, big update in gay sports news is Trump has been out there golfing and he's trying to put the economy back together.
Speaker D:One niner and at a time.
Speaker D:At this point, the only thing lower than his handicap is the stock market.
Speaker D:I think he can.
Speaker D:For him.
Speaker A:Yeah, you can take him when you're talking about golf.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:I go for the handicap guy once.
Speaker D:Oh, was it.
Speaker D:Did Sean hook up with him?
Speaker D:That's really the only thing I knew about sports.
Speaker D:And the only thing I've been hearing about sports is that freaking golf.
Speaker D:But also, I just want to play football, guys.
Speaker D:And it's been raining here, but so back to what we were going to talk about, actually, is before all this rain, I was actually in Florida for a day.
Speaker A:Yes, you were.
Speaker A:It was a day that I couldn't hang out with you, unfortunately.
Speaker D:Couldn't or didn't want to?
Speaker D:Or was it the other way where I didn't want to hang with you?
Speaker A:I was working.
Speaker A:Damn it.
Speaker D:You would have loved it.
Speaker D:But, yeah, I had a light, nice last minute surprise.
Speaker D:So I.
Speaker D:I don't know if I talked about it last time.
Speaker D:It's been a couple weeks and I do drugs.
Speaker D:But I went to New York City on Thursday.
Speaker D:And by drugs, I mean the weed.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker D:And all the medications.
Speaker D:But went to New York City on Thursday and I got invited by Virgin Voyages to attend an invite only event to talk about the new ship that's coming out in September.
Speaker D:Brilliant lady.
Speaker D:So I had this plan for like a week and a half, and then I found out Friday before that I got invited to go to Epic Universe.
Speaker D:I have a friend that works there and he's like, I can get you guys tickets.
Speaker A:Oh, that's.
Speaker D:Can you fly down?
Speaker D: So Sean And I, literally: Speaker A:And if you need to plan a trip to epic universe in five days, vacations.com.
Speaker A:tell me podcast.
Speaker D:Listen to my itinerary.
Speaker D:So I flew to New York city at like 6:30 in the morning on Thursday.
Speaker D:I flew from New New Jersey, Newark.
Speaker B:Sorry to hear that.
Speaker B:That's the worst airport I've ever been to.
Speaker D:Awful.
Speaker B:We don't claim that.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love that airport because that's.
Speaker D:The airport's nice.
Speaker D:But they always cancel flights and that's where I was nervous.
Speaker A:I always fly into Newark when I'm going to New York and like, so it's exciting.
Speaker A:It's a childhood memory.
Speaker A:That's it.
Speaker D:Childhood.
Speaker A:Well, yeah, because I used to go.
Speaker A:I have family in New York, so.
Speaker A:Or New Jersey, so fly into New Jersey, Newark, and then I get to go into Manhattan.
Speaker D:Well, times have changed since you were a child.
Speaker D:And a lot of color TVs now.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:So I flew from New Jersey to Orlando, leaving at 6:00 in the morning on Friday.
Speaker D:So I literally was in New York for less than 24 hours and slept probably about an hour because apparently there's no trains that run from New York City to New Jersey at 2:00 in the morning.
Speaker D:So I had to take the 1am train and sleep on the airport concrete because I'm an amazing travel agent.
Speaker D:So that was wonderful.
Speaker D:But we made it to Orlando.
Speaker D:Sean.
Speaker D:So Sean flew down and on top of all this, Sean's in Ohio.
Speaker D:Sean flew down from Ohio to meet me in Orlando.
Speaker D:Maddie flew from Pennsylvania to meet us in Orlando.
Speaker D:And there's just a lot of moving parts and a small amount of time, but we made it and went to Epic Universe on Friday.
Speaker D:And how was.
Speaker D:Was amazing.
Speaker D:So I'm not a huge Universal IP fan.
Speaker D:I don't do.
Speaker D:I don't follow Harry Potter.
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker D:I haven't seen how to train your dragon yet, but now I want to see it.
Speaker A:Yeah, I've never seen how to train your dragon either.
Speaker D:Super Nintendo World I was the most excited for that was my land because I went to the one in California and I knew it was going to be bigger and better here.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker D:Which it was.
Speaker D:It was amazing.
Speaker D:The shitty part was we were not allowed to take pictures or videos while we're there.
Speaker D:The even shittier part is the very next day they lifted this policy ban.
Speaker D:And a lot of people take pictures and video.
Speaker D:So because it's in preview mode right now, they were doing.
Speaker D:There's literally signs everywhere and I feel like there's people hiding in the bushes waiting for you to take a picture.
Speaker D:Yeah, they've been kicking people out.
Speaker A:700 employees got fired.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker B:How many?
Speaker A:Like 700.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker A:Here's what's crazy, Nick, is like.
Speaker A:It's almost like the influencers, like, the big influencers, not me, running around, you know, drinking beer at Hollywood Studios, you know, going live at the Indiana Jones show.
Speaker D:That's.
Speaker D:That's just called under the Influence.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:But, like, some of the bigger influencers, they must have known because they were literally all there the very.
Speaker A:Like, that first day that it gets lifted.
Speaker D:Universal must have had it planned out perfectly because that's when the media previews were.
Speaker A:Well, that's probably what they were waiting for, is media gets first.
Speaker A:First access to the content.
Speaker A:But then, like, every single day since then, the big influencers have all been there, and it's like, you suck.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Anyway, I.
Speaker D:I did Snake One picture.
Speaker B:Did you.
Speaker D:Don't tell anybody.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:Alex got that.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:And then the Dark Universe.
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:That was more Sean's realm.
Speaker D:Dark Universe, because he likes all the scary movie crap, so.
Speaker D:But I.
Speaker D:I love the park.
Speaker D:It's a really awesome layout.
Speaker D:It's cool that you walk into this, like, Central park area and you go into these realms and, like, those tunnels there.
Speaker D:Walking in, it's just.
Speaker D:It's magical.
Speaker D:Especially Super Nintendo World.
Speaker D:Amazing.
Speaker A:So how.
Speaker A:What would you compare Epic Universe to?
Speaker A:The current Universal parks or any of the Disney parks that you've been to?
Speaker D:You can't.
Speaker A:Okay, so ranking.
Speaker A:Where would you put it on your ranking?
Speaker D:I mean, it's number one for Universal parks.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Definitely.
Speaker A:Would you rank it above Magic Kingdom?
Speaker D:No.
Speaker A:Oh, Hollywood Studios.
Speaker D:No.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:Epcot.
Speaker D:As far as rides go.
Speaker D:Yes.
Speaker D:Depends.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker D:Guardians of Galaxy is a really good ride, though.
Speaker C:The best.
Speaker D:See, here's the thing.
Speaker D:Like, the best roller coaster that they have there, it's super awesome, but it's literally just a roller coaster.
Speaker D:There's not really, like a lion cue or anything.
Speaker D:It's literally.
Speaker D:I felt like I was at.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's not themed at all.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker A:Except for the back of the roller coaster has a flux capacitor on it.
Speaker D:Cool.
Speaker D:Where's the storyline?
Speaker A:Okay, the storyline.
Speaker D:Where's my gift shop at the end?
Speaker A:The storyline is the people that live in Celestial park, they found a way to transport themselves to these different lands through these portals.
Speaker A:Well, also the Stardust Racers.
Speaker A:Stardust Racers, which are also comets.
Speaker A:They essentially channel these comets so they can also.
Speaker D:So they're aliens.
Speaker A:Transport themselves to the different lands.
Speaker A:That's why that's the only thing you can see from each land.
Speaker D:It doesn't make sense.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:It makes perfect Sense.
Speaker A:I just didn't explain it well.
Speaker D:Where's, where's, where's the book that's telling me this when I walk in?
Speaker D:Where's the video?
Speaker A:Listen, theme parks do not do a very good job of telling the story.
Speaker A:They expect you to understand the story without.
Speaker A:I'm convinced that, I'm convinced that if Chester and Hester In Dino and USA had their own Disney plus show where they explained the lore of DinoLand USA, DinoLand USA would never close.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:RIP Dino Land.
Speaker D:I'm sorry.
Speaker D:Sorry for a loss.
Speaker D:Sorry for a loss.
Speaker C:I'm, I'm really sad about it and nobody.
Speaker C:I'm sorry, but nobody needs more Indiana Jones.
Speaker D:Well, also, Indiana Jones doesn't belong there, but that's another story for another day and I think I've told it already.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:What else for Epic?
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:It's, it's a really cool, like I said, walking into like the realms and the portals and stuff.
Speaker D:Everything is just amazing.
Speaker D:You feel like you're in a movie set.
Speaker D:So I.
Speaker D:10 out of 10 recommend it.
Speaker A:Well, yeah, it's exciting.
Speaker A:And are you booking vacations right now to Epic?
Speaker D:I am booking vacations.
Speaker D:There's a lot of really good package deals right now.
Speaker D:I actually was able.
Speaker D: release promotions for summer: Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker D:All these amazing deals on the same day.
Speaker D:Universal decides, let's release Epic Universe Express Passes.
Speaker D:So what a fun day.
Speaker D:That was, adding all those on.
Speaker D:But I found like a needle in a haystack with the Express passes and the fact that it cost my clients 10 extra dollars to add on Express passes.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker D:$5 a person?
Speaker A:How is that possible?
Speaker D:I don't know.
Speaker D:I'm waiting for Universal to call me and be like, oh, we need to charge more.
Speaker D:No, I got screenshots and everything.
Speaker A:Express passes can cost up to 200.
Speaker D:Two to 300.
Speaker A:$300.
Speaker B:Scott, your call.
Speaker B:Yours cost actually double that.
Speaker A:Yeah, people don't pay me back.
Speaker D:And Express classes are highly.
Speaker D:You need them at Epic.
Speaker D:Epic is definitely.
Speaker D:It's gonna be a two day park just to get through the lines and everything and the shows and stuff too.
Speaker D:And, and if you want to experience everything that they have to offer, like playing with all the interactive games and Super Nintendo World.
Speaker D:I could spend five hours in Super Nintendo World getting all those 1 ups.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
Speaker D:But can I also talk about one thing that I did not like?
Speaker D:And I'm sure you as a person of a higher weight, larger weight, to.
Speaker A:Be known as high calorie?
Speaker D:Yeah, high calorie.
Speaker D:Did you go through the super.
Speaker D:The Mario Kart ride queue?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker D:So to get into this ride queue, Chris, you have to go up, like, three flights of stairs.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker D:And then you walk through these long hallways, and then you go down, like, eight flights of stairs, and then you go on the ride, and then you have to go back up two flights of stairs to go back down two flights of stairs.
Speaker B:No, I'm not riding that.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker D:We can just go karts, and we'll just throw bananas at each other.
Speaker B:I'll watch a POV ride through.
Speaker B:Yeah, there's no way I'm doing all that work.
Speaker B:No, no ride is worth all that work.
Speaker D:Yeah, that was.
Speaker D:That was my biggest complaint, really, was The.
Speaker D:The layout.
Speaker D:I'm like, literally, you guys built this park from the ground up.
Speaker D:You had the room to build a flat land.
Speaker D:And every time we walk through, we're like, disney would have done this.
Speaker D:Disney would have made them stairs.
Speaker A:I think it's part of the story.
Speaker B:Part of the story.
Speaker D:Mario's not tall enough to jump up those stairs.
Speaker D:Yeah, I know.
Speaker D:There's.
Speaker D:Chris.
Speaker B:No, it's a.
Speaker A:It's a great way to save space.
Speaker A:Just up and down.
Speaker A:You just, you know, do circles around yourself.
Speaker D:It's a fun ride, especially if you.
Speaker D:If you pop an edible before it and you are on rainbow Road.
Speaker D:Hands down, best experience ever.
Speaker A:So, speaking of cars, Sarah, something happened to your car this week.
Speaker C:Yeah, I replaced it.
Speaker C:I did.
Speaker A:You replaced it?
Speaker A:So you bought a new one?
Speaker C:I sure did.
Speaker C:See, what had happened was I did what any normal car owner does.
Speaker C:The check engine light came on.
Speaker A:Your oil change?
Speaker C:No, I went in for my oil change.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:Lewis and I both were going together, and, you know, it takes a while.
Speaker C:We were at the dealership like an.
Speaker C:Were in, and my ADHD and my overstimulation just.
Speaker C:It was not working.
Speaker C:So I said, let's.
Speaker C:Let's get up.
Speaker C:Let's walk around.
Speaker C:I read my book, scrolled through TikTok.
Speaker C:People watched.
Speaker C:Gotta walk around.
Speaker C:So we go out to the car lot, and there it was.
Speaker C:The cutest Mini Cooper I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker B:You are such a Mini Cooper Galaxy now.
Speaker C:I am so not.
Speaker C:I mean, you look like a man.
Speaker C:Always had small cars.
Speaker C:Small and fast.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker C:And then I got them.
Speaker C:The crv.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker C:Well, I had a crv.
Speaker C:All right.
Speaker C:We.
Speaker C:It was perfect.
Speaker C:We were able to move in it and everything.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:Now I can fit two backpacks in my truck and A lunchbox and a lunchbox.
Speaker C:Yeah, you know what?
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:I might be able to fit three of those, but.
Speaker C:But we're talking school backpacks.
Speaker C:I was trying to shove them in today so that they.
Speaker C:They just cleared the trunk, but I.
Speaker C:All I wanted to do was get an oil change, so now I have a new car.
Speaker B:Are you having buyer's remorse now?
Speaker C:Absolutely not.
Speaker C:Oh, my God.
Speaker C:I'm through.
Speaker B:Okay, so you don't care about the trunk space.
Speaker B:Nobody cares about the trunk space.
Speaker C:Nobody cares about the trunk space.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:I will shove a kid in the trunk space if I have to.
Speaker C:Just listen.
Speaker A:Oh, Jesus.
Speaker B:Casey Anthony Scott's like, wow, Can I borrow it?
Speaker C:Oh, my God.
Speaker C:I didn't even think about that.
Speaker C:I apologize.
Speaker C:Well, we've said worse.
Speaker C:It's fine.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:I'm making Lewis a little jealous.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:I feel bad.
Speaker C:So now I'm on the hunt with him to get him a new car, because now mine is really fast and really loud.
Speaker C:I pro.
Speaker C:Pissing off some of the neighbors, but I truly don't care because this thing.
Speaker A:Really fast and really loud.
Speaker C:That's like 400 horsepower.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:Oh, wow.
Speaker C:It's.
Speaker C:It's insane.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker C:So anyways, I'm like the flash guys.
Speaker C:You won't see me on i4, Scott.
Speaker C:I'm just going too fast.
Speaker C:Takes me a lot less time to get to work in the morning, I tell you that.
Speaker C:So, yeah, I'm.
Speaker C:I'm really excited.
Speaker C:But I was just cracking up after I did it.
Speaker C:I'm like, I can't believe I went in for an oil change and I came out with the car.
Speaker B:What you do with the car?
Speaker C:People have done that before.
Speaker B:What you do with the car?
Speaker D:The old car.
Speaker C:What do you mean, the old car?
Speaker C:Oh, they gave it back to them.
Speaker C:I bought it at the same place.
Speaker B:Did you.
Speaker B:Did you.
Speaker B:Did they make you pay for the oil change?
Speaker A:Trade it in.
Speaker C:I traded it in.
Speaker B:Did they make you pay for the oil change?
Speaker C:I had lifetime oil.
Speaker C:Listen, here's the funny thing is that, you know, at the end of the oil change, they give you this breakdown.
Speaker C:And, like, my tires were like.
Speaker C:Like they were rough, okay?
Speaker C:I was.
Speaker C:I was going bald getting the new tire.
Speaker A:She's like, I'll just get a new car.
Speaker D:That.
Speaker D:That's exactly what I did last year.
Speaker C:They broke it all down for me.
Speaker C:It was like $1,200 worth of crap that needed to be done, and rightfully so, because I haven't.
Speaker C:I haven't needed to do it up to that Point.
Speaker C:But I'm kind of hard on my brakes, and I.
Speaker C:I drive a lot.
Speaker C:And I was like, you know what?
Speaker C:Let's hold off on that, because I might actually just give you the car back and get a different one.
Speaker C:And that's exactly what happened.
Speaker C:So after back and forth trips, getting kids from school and back and doing that twice, 40 minutes, mind you, we managed to.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Get a new car.
Speaker A:Now she has to take two trips to the school because she can only fit one kid in the car at a time.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker C:I made sure that their legs cleared.
Speaker C:Barely.
Speaker C:Barely.
Speaker C:Because the entire reason that I.
Speaker C:I got a CRV in the first place was because I needed something.
Speaker C:I was driving my 93 fox body, okay, with.
Speaker C:With a lot of issues.
Speaker C:I was smoking out the kids with the exhaust.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:I had to trade it in because that was a daily driver.
Speaker C:Well, they're still alive, so we did something right.
Speaker C:And I got the crv because I was like, they're growing kids.
Speaker C:You know, they're into sports and dance and yada yada.
Speaker C:And then this time, I said, you know what?
Speaker C:Screw them.
Speaker C:I'm getting this car.
Speaker A:Good for you.
Speaker C:Actually.
Speaker C:Actually, we've been driving around in the CRV for a very long time, and they keep saying, I wish you had the race car still.
Speaker C:Because that's what they called my Mustang.
Speaker C:That's what it was used for.
Speaker C:It was a drag car before I bought it, so it was the race car to them.
Speaker C:So I was like, you know what?
Speaker C:You guys are right.
Speaker B:Nick's car is a drag car once in a while.
Speaker B:So you got a race car.
Speaker B:So you.
Speaker B:So you.
Speaker B:You went full circle.
Speaker B:Is it a stick shift?
Speaker C:I sure did.
Speaker C:They were like, no, it's not.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:Does it have the cool paddle shifters, though, still?
Speaker C:It sure does.
Speaker C:It's the.
Speaker C:It turns out, because I know nothing about Mini Coopers, I know a lot about Mustangs and Volkswagens, not Mini Coopers.
Speaker C:And turns out it's, like, the highest trim that you can get.
Speaker C:I've gotten a lot of compliments on it so far.
Speaker B:Does it have the British flag on the top?
Speaker B:Top?
Speaker C:It doesn't have it on the top, but it has it on the mirrors and on the tail lights.
Speaker C:I'm obsessed.
Speaker C:Its name is Archie, by the way.
Speaker A:Archie, you're gonna take pictures and put it in our discord?
Speaker C:Yeah, I will.
Speaker C:I will.
Speaker C:Mom, our youngest said, we absolutely can only listen to the Beatles in this miracle.
Speaker C:And then she's saying, like, God save the queen hummed a little, like Beethoven or whatever.
Speaker C:I don't know.
Speaker C:She was, she was getting very into it.
Speaker C:You should see her at Epcot when we switch from France to England.
Speaker C:Game over.
Speaker C:She goes full British accent.
Speaker C:So we're very excited about it.
Speaker A:I, I, I want a new car, Sarah.
Speaker A:Like mine, none of the windows roll up or down anymore.
Speaker A:Like, I have to.
Speaker A:I'm coming in through the security gate.
Speaker A:I have to, like, manually with my hand roll down my windows.
Speaker A:I've got a piece of trim that fell off.
Speaker A:And because my rent, my windows were.
Speaker A:Won't roll all the way up.
Speaker A:I can't run it through the car wash.
Speaker A:So there's, like, green mildew, like, growing on the side.
Speaker A:Like, it's a white car with all these green mildew stains on the side of the car.
Speaker A:But the problem is, I go ahead.
Speaker C:I bought mine Wednesday.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:Night.
Speaker C:And Lewis and I were looking at it today, and we're like, we gotta wash that.
Speaker C:We're gonna start washing it tomorrow.
Speaker C:Like, yeah, detail all that.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But I, I can't get a new car because, like, like a year ago, I got a whole brand new engine because, like, there was three different recalled parts.
Speaker A:And, like, oh, yeah, you get a brand new engine.
Speaker A:So it's basically like a brand new car in the inside.
Speaker A:Like, I just got an oil change the other day, and the guy's like, oh, you probably only have, like, what, 40, 000 miles on there.
Speaker A:I'm like, no, try like 110.
Speaker A:And he's like, damn, you take good care of it.
Speaker A:And I'm like, does it look like I take good care of it?
Speaker A:No, they built.
Speaker A:I got a brand new engine.
Speaker A:The recall.
Speaker C:Did you have to pay for that brand new engine?
Speaker A:No, it was a recall.
Speaker A:It was a factory recall.
Speaker C:Free it.
Speaker C:So then what's.
Speaker A:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker A:I can't trade it.
Speaker A:Like, it's paid off, and it's basically a brand new car on the inside.
Speaker B:That's a.
Speaker B:You're like the complete opposite.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:All right, you guys ready to play?
Speaker A:Jersey man.
Speaker A:Florida man.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker D:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:Step inside the ring.
Speaker A:He's flying in the game from Carolina streets where nobody knows his name.
Speaker A:Holston, Jersey, Florida, man He can't read a book but don't you judge him by his cover Take a closer look.
Speaker A:Homeless in appearance but he's sharper than attack he's quick on his feet got no burden on his back With a mic in hand he'll make you laugh out loud Game master Ryan is ready to wow the crowd.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker A:Ryan's here to play.
Speaker A:Swagger in each step lighting up today.
Speaker A:Every week, game master Ryan brings us two news stories.
Speaker A:One is from Jersey, one is from Florida.
Speaker A:It is up to us to determine which one is which.
Speaker A:Take it away, Ryan.
Speaker E:Hey, guys.
Speaker E:This is Ryan from the parents Night out news team.
Speaker E:And here is the news I found this week.
Speaker E:A man in Wisconsin is accused of putting super glue on a co worker's drink.
Speaker E:The man admitted to the crime and said he did it because the woman talked too much.
Speaker E:Maybe Scott's doing this to Sarah.
Speaker E:Did you know Scott's favorite princess is Sleeping Beauty?
Speaker E:He's always talking about how women should be seen and not heard at first time.
Speaker E:Mom is defending herself after she shared a Travel hack on TikTok where she lets her 5 month old son sleep in the shower during vacations.
Speaker E:I should probably explain, Chris.
Speaker E:A shower is what?
Speaker E:They don't smell bad and don't look like they brushed their hair with a stick of butter.
Speaker E:A mail carrier in Massachusetts was caught on video when he was harassed by three turkeys as they chased him through several stops.
Speaker E:We have audio of the interaction.
Speaker E:I'm sorry, I'm being told that's the wrong audio.
Speaker E:That's audio of Scott interacting with minorities in his neighborhood.
Speaker E:A preacher is in trouble after he locked his congregation in the church church holding them hostage until they donated $40,000.
Speaker E:The choir boys in the church said this reminds them of Uncle Got's basement.
Speaker E:This creature is also known because he performed at Diddy's 50th birthday party, which I think Scott attended.
Speaker E:And In Georgia, a 67 year old woman had wrecked her car after the accident.
Speaker E:She had left the scene to go seek help only to end up falling down a well.
Speaker E:Police say they were alerted to this incident by a beautiful border collie.
Speaker E:Anyways, let's get into this week's Florida man and New Jersey man stories.
Speaker E:And for our first story, a man is arrested for battery after he is refused a free refill.
Speaker E:And for our second story, police officers settle for $2.4 million over alleged sex toy harassment.
Speaker A:All right, so we've got refused refill or sex toy harassment.
Speaker A:Nick, what do you think?
Speaker D:I feel like sex toys is a Florida thing.
Speaker A:All right, Chris.
Speaker D:It might be New Jersey.
Speaker D:Chris used one last week.
Speaker B:I think the Florida one could be Scott at 7:11.
Speaker B:So I'm gonna go.
Speaker B:So I'm gonna give Florida.
Speaker C:Sarah, I'm gonna agree with Chris.
Speaker C:Florida refill?
Speaker A:Yeah, I.
Speaker A:I'm also agreeing refill.
Speaker A:I would get Violent if I couldn't get my refill and sex toy New Jersey.
Speaker A:Let's find out the answer.
Speaker E:So our first story is from Florida, where a man in Clearwater bought a drink from a child's lemonade stand, drank the drink in front of the kids, and then demanded a refill.
Speaker E:He then became angry when he was not allowed to refill his cup.
Speaker E:He then got in an argument with one of the parents of the children, grabbing them and taking a fighting stance, whatever that means, and threatened to beat her up.
Speaker E:Luckily, we do know that this was not Scott because he is not allowed within 50 yards of a lemonade stand after what happened last time.
Speaker E:So that means.
Speaker E:Our second story is from New Jersey, where police settle for $2.4 million over an alleged sex toy harassment.
Speaker E:The lawsuit states that the former chief of the police station created a hostile work environment, often harassing other police officers, and a sexual nature.
Speaker E:According to the lawsuit, Big Blue is the name of the sex toy that the chief kept in his desk drawer, and he would subject other officers to it almost on a daily basis.
Speaker E:The chief would wave Big Blue around and throw it in the detective bureau and throw it at people walking past.
Speaker E:One officer said that they saw Big Blue in a coffee mug, removed it, and then threw it into the garbage.
Speaker E:Apparently, the chief also had a practice of taking his flashlight and ramming it into the anus area of other male officers while at the police station, as the officers had their backs turned to him.
Speaker E:Well, after hearing all that, I'm sure Nick is currently filling out paperwork to join the police academy as we speak.
Speaker E:Anyways, that's it for me this week, guys.
Speaker E:Back to you.
Speaker A:Thank you so much, Ryan.
Speaker A:You know, I gotta tell you, I, my wife made fun of me because I, I, I go into 711 to get my, my Diet Coke.
Speaker A:But I have a second 7 11, a backup 7 11, if you will.
Speaker A:But I always go to this, like, I get really grumpy.
Speaker A:It will ruin my day if I cannot get Diet Coke from my first 7 11, because, you know, I don't smoke in my car.
Speaker A:So I go to 711 and I, and I get the, the Diet Coke and then, and I'll smoke in the parking lot.
Speaker A:But if I have to go to the second seven eleven now, I'm waiting.
Speaker A:So it's longer.
Speaker A:It's just a whole thing.
Speaker A:But I get very grumpy if there's no and I will be passive aggressive as, like, well, we have Coke Zero.
Speaker A:And I'm like, okay, I could just rob you now.
Speaker B:Then that's not passive at all.
Speaker A:It sucks.
Speaker A:It, it, it.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I am such a creature of habit, Chris.
Speaker A:I'm so like, routine that any variation from that routine, like, of my work day, will throw me off.
Speaker A:Like, the other day I forgot my work phone at home.
Speaker A:And like, that has all of my contacts in it.
Speaker A:Like, that's my lifeline.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:It ruined the next 20.
Speaker A:It took me 24 hours to recover from that.
Speaker A:And I called Darren.
Speaker A:I woke up Darren.
Speaker A:This is like, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:It's 6:00 in the morning.
Speaker A:I woke up Darren, who had worked till like midnight the night before.
Speaker A:I'm like, hey, bro, I need you to get in the car and bring me my phone.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:So I was only without my phone for an hour and 15 minutes, but it threw off my whole day.
Speaker A:It was the worst.
Speaker A:God, he said.
Speaker A:He said, you're pretty much Paul Heymon.
Speaker D:Now.
Speaker A:You owe me a favor.
Speaker A:Hey, Chris Scott, you got any Cliff Notes?
Speaker B:I do, and those are my.
Speaker B:And those are like.
Speaker A:The hut crawls from the shadows Grin and wide and leather and rust he sells chaos hidden and wears in stuff that we trust he stacks his secrets high in the dark with treasures dripping.
Speaker B:In grime So I don't know if you guys saw this in the news, but a biotech company brought back an extinct animal.
Speaker B:Did you guys actually see this?
Speaker A:Yeah, the.
Speaker A:The Shire wolf or something.
Speaker A:Dire wolf from Game of Thrones.
Speaker B:The big.
Speaker B:The big funny thing about that, that was that we brought back.
Speaker B:They brought back a literal direwolf before the last book was published of Game of Thrones.
Speaker B:Anyway, so after, after, for those of you who don't know, after 10,000 years, they brought a direwolf back to life.
Speaker B:Three of them, actually.
Speaker B:Now, after hearing they could bring things back from the dead, Scott called them to inquire about his sex life.
Speaker A:Not after we lost all that money in the stock market.
Speaker A:She won't have so stressed out.
Speaker A:Out.
Speaker B:Shouldn't have sold.
Speaker B:Scott accidentally name dropped Sarah instead of his wife before making some crude remarks.
Speaker B:Before I knew it was a mistake, I thought you were gonna have to fire him from the show.
Speaker A:Sorry, that was a slow burn.
Speaker A:That was good.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:That's one that only a few of us are gonna understand.
Speaker A:But that was brilliant.
Speaker B:Nick said that kickball was canceled this week because of some rain.
Speaker B:Fun fact.
Speaker B:That's the first time getting wet ever prevented him from doing anything.
Speaker A:True.
Speaker B:Scott tried to explain Epic Universe to us, like the.
Speaker B:The lore behind it, none of us understood.
Speaker B:The only thing more confusing is my sexuality.
Speaker B:When I'm with Nick, Nick talked about popping an edible and going down Rainbow Road.
Speaker B:Now that is something totally different in the gay community.
Speaker B:Spoiler alert, it's my tank.
Speaker B:And lastly, Sarah talked about how she took her car to get a free oil change.
Speaker B:She walked out buying a brand new car.
Speaker B:Sarah, you are the worst Jew ever.
Speaker C:No, my payments went down.
Speaker B:Yeah, you redeemed yourself.
Speaker B:Financial decision and those in my clip notes.
Speaker A:Thank you so much, Chris.
Speaker A:Does anybody have anything exciting going on with their kids this week?
Speaker D:I'm being a single parent this week.
Speaker D:My husband is out of town until Saturday, so send help.
Speaker B:We do have to go around and do our landed land acknowledgments.
Speaker B:So I acknowledge the land on which I gather as part of the lenapehoking, the traditional territory of the Lenny Lenape people.
Speaker B:We honor the Lenny Lenape people as the original stewards of this land that recogn enduring presence and sovereignty.
Speaker B:We pay our respects to their elders, past and present, and to all indigenous people who continue to care for this land today.
Speaker B:Now, Scott, go ahead.
Speaker A:What just happened?
Speaker A:What am I supposed to do?
Speaker B:Our land acknowledgments.
Speaker B:For the Native Americans who graced the land before us that we stole, we.
Speaker A:Acknowledge that the land we are on is traditional, ancestral, and stolen land of Indigenous peoples who have have stewarded it for generations.
Speaker A:We recognize the injustices of colonization and the harm inflicted on the Native communities.
Speaker A:Harm that continues today.
Speaker A:This acknowledgment is not a suitable for action, but a starting point for reflection, education, and a commitment to supporting indigenous sovereignty and equal equity.
Speaker A:We honor the people whose land we occupy, and we commit to learning from and standing with Indigenous communities in the ongoing fight for justice.
Speaker B:That was disgustingly unspecific, but for the SEM Indian tribe.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker C:Okay, Sarah, I'm from the same land as you.
Speaker A:Oh, okay.
Speaker A:We acknowledge together.
Speaker B:Yeah, I told Jorb in the last 15 minutes of our podcast.
Speaker B:We do do land acknowledgments every.
Speaker B:Okay, gotcha this every week.
Speaker A:Okay, well, I will be better prepared next week.
Speaker A:Sorry, my dog ate my computer.
Speaker A:So this week.
Speaker A:Tomorrow I'm going to Epic Universe with two out of my three kids.
Speaker A:The other one.
Speaker B:Is it your two favorites?
Speaker A:I don't want to answer that.
Speaker B:It's fair.
Speaker D:Are they your favorites this week?
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:I actually feel terrible.
Speaker A:You know, Abby did not get the grades that she needed.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker A:And I feel awful to the point where I was gonna, but, like, I didn't take any of her theater stuff away.
Speaker A:She gets to go on her Epcot field trip.
Speaker A:She got to go see Mean Girls the Musical.
Speaker A:So, like, she's got to do all this stuff and no consequences for the Deez.
Speaker A:So it sucks.
Speaker A:I feel terrible.
Speaker A:Anyway, Nick, where can our listeners find you?
Speaker D:You can find me on all social media platforms at Sandpiper Vacations, as well as at.
Speaker D:At Emotional Support Gay Nick for just a daily life journey with me and my health.
Speaker C:Sarah, you can find me on the Tik tok at Super Sarah 94.
Speaker A:Chris.
Speaker B:You can find me at Chris Y.
Speaker A:On Instagram, Redbeard, everything Disney verse, D I Z N A Y V R S E.
Speaker A:And you can connect with all of us.
Speaker A:Just go to our website, nonie friends podcast.com while you're there, check out our really sweet merchandise, join our clubhouse, become a Patreon member for as low as $2 a month, and have all sorts of exclusive access to cutting room, floor, early release, and any contest that we do.
Speaker A:Also, don't forget to nominate us for Orlando Weekly's Best of Orlando competitions under the category Local Notables, Best Local Podcast.
Speaker A:That's Parents Night out with no new friends.
Speaker A:That's at www.vote.orlandoweekly.com.
Speaker A:and somehow now Red Remy's already nominated, so we're.
Speaker A:We're behind him, I guess.
Speaker A:But please do that for us.
Speaker A:It would really mean a lot.
Speaker A:On behalf of game master Ryan, our producer, Redbeard Nick.
Speaker A:Sarah, Chris.
Speaker A:I'm Scott.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker A:We'll see you next time.
Speaker A:See you later, Poopy Bus, Scott, Chris, Sarah, and naked tale to be told.
Speaker A:Welcome to the podcast where adulting unfolds.
Speaker A:We're adulting unfolds we're adulting unfolds.
